Some Comments

These are some comments for the people who drive on 95 South everyday through Rhode Island.

(I'm not going to be nice...you were warned. Shut up Maria I can too be nice when I want to).

OK you fucking assholes let's get somethings straight:

* Maybe you missed the memo but the contest to see how close you could ride my bumper has been canceled so BACK THE FUCK OFF

* Contrary to what most people think the 6-8 fucking inches I leave between me and the car in front of me IS NOT an invitation for you to slide your fucking piece of shit in front of me

* I don't know where you went to driving school bitch but high beams are NOT for highway driving

*Here is a little tip - if there are people in front of me no matter how close you are to me or how much you want to get around me I'VE GOT NO WHERE TO GO fucker

* The left lane is known for as the high speed lane for a reason - if you are confused look it up jackass

* Your tinted windows, dual exhaust BMW with those asinine brass testicles hanging off the back does not impress me. So just take your backwards hat gangsta leaning self and get the fuck out of my way

* Route 295 is a left hand exit and has been since I was at least 5 years old. So you assholes who bomb down the left hand lane and then act all surprised when the exit comes up either need to learn how to read the signs or have a little humility when you are trying to cut the rest of us off so you don't end up in Fall River. Look, I don't want to end up there either so you know what I do? I PAY FUCKING ATTENTION. Christ, what are you? New?

* I've never driven in a state where people who are in accidents or broken down actually pull off to the left. Are you people just asking to get picked off?

OK I feel a little better now and I don't have to drive down there tomorrow so that makes everything a little better.

Driving

I live in Massachusetts and I drive everyday to Rhode Island to work. I have to say on a daily basis I seem amazing assholeness (if that's not a word it should be)on the highway. Today I took a long lunch to go to the bank and to the acupuncturist. As I get on the highway I notice in my rear view mirror an ambulance with it's lights on. I turn down the radio and notice that they don't have the sirens on - whatever- I was always taught you got the hell out of the way of any vehicle with flashing lights ~ red - blue or green ~ it doesn't matter - you just move.

So at the same time that I notice this a guy passes me on the left (same lane as the ambulance) hand barely touching the wheel, scrunched way down in his seat and on his phone. You know the type "let me impress you with my car and my $500 suit, because my penis is small and I'm short, oh and I have $100,000 in credit card debt from trying to make up from my perceived shortcomings". We've all met those guys -I hate those guys and lets just say there are an inordinate number per capita in this state.

Anyway this guy doesn't move. The ambulance gets right up on his ass and he still doesn't move. He hasn't even looked in his rear view mirror or anything. He is so engrossed in his phone call that I'm surprised he remembered he was driving. What a jack ass. Finally either the ambulance blew the siren or his 900# phone call ended regardless he finally looked up and he got out of the way.

On the way home I started to think - "why do they even install mirrors anymore, apparently no one uses them." I've never driven anywhere were people just put on the blinker and go as much as they do here in RI. They don't even glance in any of the mirrors - what the hell is that all about?

And lastly, do they not teach people what the different lanes are for on the highway? I was always under the impression that the very right hand lane was for getting on and off the highway and for people who drive impossibly slow. So what is with all of these people using this lane for their own personal jet way? People are trying to get on and off the highway asshole..........that really pisses me off.

There is so much more about driving that I could rant about but I seriously have to get back to work if I want to take a vacation day tomorrow!